[You] Faceplant Friday: The Return of the Ouch

This week I’ve got three more videos lined up for you all. The usual blockbuster, a funny one and the final one - this week marks the return of the one that makes you cringe.

I’ll start with the funny one. A short clip which involves a little kid and gymnastics. God I love the gymnastic face plants.

It’s only short I know but the wacky music and multiple replays sum this face plant up. It’s quirky and no major damage was done – watch the kid run off at the end. I just found it really funny, I mean, this kid probably just proved that his Mum was right when she said he should quite gym and play football instead. Check the rest after the jump.

Ok this one is just cringe worthy. Could someone please tell me whether she broke her neck or not? Regardless – this looks like pain was a big hitter. Still, it’s a face plant, and it harks back to the early days of Face Plant Friday, in which I gave you some real painful ones.

Just Ouch. Somebody call a doctor or something, that has got to smart. Don’t you love the way she basically balances on her face before her neck gives a way? That, ladies and gents, is a proper face plant, with a hold. I heard this lady’s going to be in the new Tony Hawks.

But now. The moment you all love. The blockbuster face plant. This weeks’ is quite an odd one if I’m honest, I highly doubt anyone will spot it first time but don’t worry, it comes with a slow-mo replay.

Before I go any further I've got to hand credit to Matthew who pointed this video out to me, great spot! This is one of the best face plants I've ever seen for so many reasons - not only do I suspect that this guy is now out of the genepool, but I think all the other douche bags with him have learnt their lessons as well. Result. Now watch it again and take note of the sound of his face smacking the car. Beautiful, isn’t it?

Take care guys and gals.

~ AVARiCE Read more on "[You] Faceplant Friday: The Return of the Ouch"...

[Me] Introductions: Mr. Bean on your Editing Team!

I hope our resident editor has started all the necessary excitement over the newest additions to the editing team (!). But nevertheless, here I am – your deputy editor, Mr. Bean. I hope you’ll enjoy the different flavours that I’ll be bringing to your favourite blog.

-

Of course, you’ll be getting your usual dose of humour, news and just awesome-ness, but with me there’ll be some different flavours for you viewing folk. Sports will be where I blog about the comings and goings of my favourite team, Barnet FC, along with any other major lower-league football news that’s flying about. I’ll also be writing about my sport, table tennis, in these posts. Hopefully I’ll bring a few converts from Arsenal and badminton from the Dark Side! Other little niches of mine will undoubtedly be blogged about sooner or later, so keep an eye out!

‘Tis all for now folks!
Mr. Bean
Read more on "[Me] Introductions: Mr. Bean on your Editing Team!"...

[You] Comedy: Best News Story Evar?

This is just epic. See the jump? Do it.

I'm thinking of starting a new series (alongside Face Plant Friday) called 'Only In America', because with the glorious US of A, this blog probably wouldn't exist in any form, let alone this one.

I don't honestly think that my satire could actually add anything to this video. It involves a man with no nose, a kidnapping, a drunken pair and the best excuse I've ever heard. Epic.

Just watch it, if you can do it with a straight face then you're twice the man I am. Peace out.

~ AVARiCE Read more on "[You] Comedy: Best News Story Evar?"...

[You] Comedy: Drunken Referee is Drunk

This is just awesome, isn't it? I mean, what more is there to be said about this? Of course I can think of more! After the jump, guys!

Right. Where do we begin? Ah yes. This is a junior game. As in, everyone about to play is under the age of 18, and the audience probably consists of parents who wanted to pretend to be supportive, while Dad just checks out all the soccer mums out and about.

That's a good start. Then we arrive at his stance. He either has a terrible degenerative disease in his back muscles, a horrendous curvature in his spine or he's so drunk the world is a couple of degrees off to him. I think the safe money's on the latter.

So the event organisers realise he's drunk as a wotsit and try to coax him off the pitch. You can just tell what he's doing at this point, he's telling them he's fine (no really, he's fine) and that he loves them. Even his hand gestures tell you it's a drunken rumble.

Finally they get him to leave the pitch, before he does my favourite thing of this entire video. At 1:52 he gives the perfect wave, followed by an abrupt applause to the crowd. Yes, this man is so drunk he thinks the crowd loces him.

The story ends happily enough, the game was sponsored by an anti-drinking campaign. None of the kids ever drank alcohol in their entire lives. Some died on drug overdoses, but none even touched alcohol!

~ AVARiCE Read more on "[You] Comedy: Drunken Referee is Drunk"...

[You] Nintendo: New Peripheral. Sweet.

Click the image to view it in original size.

Pictured above is a wiimote sporting the Wii MotionPlus accessory. This accessory doesn't really carry the wow factor of things like the nunchuck, it just looks like a little white lego brick that clicks into the bottom of the remote, but that's not all it does. Hit the jump to find out why it's worth blogging about.

It looks tiny, but that peripheral is actually a very important step in the evolution of the Wii. You see, what it does is increase the Wiimotes' precision in regards to your actions and the goings on in-game. Why is this important? It means that we're now likely to see our first Light Saber game! Not only that, but this tiny little block will also improve your gaming experience on the basis that a game that relies on using a motion sensor will benefit from an improved sensor, simple as.

The other significant thing about this accessory is the timing of the announcement. Announced before E3, specifically before Microsoft (are highly likely to) reveal their motion-controlled sensor. Nintendo must've seen something coming. They never miss a trick do they?

via [Kotaku]

~ AVARiCE Read more on "[You] Nintendo: New Peripheral. Sweet."...

[You] Faceplant Friday: It’s back!

So, it's been a while and I can only apologise for that but I'm here and I've got three spankingly beautiful videos for you this week. Where else are you going to find a Jew, a fat guy and an epic fail smashing their faces into the ground? You can't say I don't love you, can you? We'll begin this week with the fat guy, because it's probably the least funny and I feel like saving the best until last.



Not the best face plant mankind has ever witnessed, but it does explain why he looks like the Michelin man, he's obviously done this before and over time his body has forgotten to pop back out of the crumpled state. Decent breasts for a lad though. Check the other two videos after the jump.

For my second video of the week, I offer a kid with a body board and a really bad case of epic fail. He might want some medicine for that - or his pride - after this monstrosity was caught on camera.



What an athlete. What a gymnast. His spine must bend over 9000 degrees in this clip. As if his epic fail wasn't quite bad enough, his own mother then laughs at him. I would say that's demoralising but come on, this kid has just eaten sand using a body board. Which smacktard can't use a body board? Epic. Fail.

Finally, the big one. A jew, national TV, a face plant and a bit of Cat Deeley for good measure. Yes.



Best face plant ever? 'Nuff said.

~ AVARiCE Read more on "[You] Faceplant Friday: It’s back!"...

[You] Oops: Carpenter With Wood Allergy

That's right. This guy quit his £80,000 p/a city job to become a carpenter. If you're ever having a bad day, remember it will be nothing like this guys'. The story has a happy ending though, he's all fixed now, he was only allergic to one type of wood. Only in Wales, hey?

Can you imagine how he broke the news to his mates? This is why we need CCTV, to capture moments like that. I do believe the term is 'pwnt'.

[Sauce]

~ AVARiCE Read more on "[You] Oops: Carpenter With Wood Allergy"...

[You] Faceplant Friday: Cats and Italian Americans Hey?

Apologies for the lateness this week but I've had a few coursework deadlines to meet as well as being ill, leaving me very little time.



Animal face plant to kick off proceedings. You just can't beat 'em. Love how this cat does the very human thing of over-estimating its talent before doing the even more human thing of feeling the pain. I don't think I've ever seen a cat roll around the floor in pain before. Serves the damned thing right.



A quickie. This is both a prank and a face plant. Two greats rolled into one! You've got to admit this is hilariously harsh, with friends like these who needs no claims bonuses on health insurance?



I actually saw this episode of Mythbusters. I love the way they tee him up, knowing the cool kid with the bike can't resist showing off in front of the girls. Props to him for taking it like a man, I'm sure we'll revisit some of his antics at a later date. We might even make a compilation for his funeral.

~ AVARiCE Read more on "[You] Faceplant Friday: Cats and Italian Americans Hey?"...

[You] Oops: IGN Watermark on Okami's Cover

This seems insane, but it's true. The Wii game Okami has IGN's watermark on the cover art. Just walk into your local store and you'll find it's true, that's insane! Can you imagine the conversations going on in the Nintendo design department right now? You can but you want me to translate? No way dude.

Someone else has actually put all this information into standard English so you can see it, link at the bottom of the post. It's hard to spot at first but once you spot it it's incredibly clear. I wonder if IGN can sue Nintendo even though it's Capcom's image they've watermarked? Ohhh this is good!

Proper article at [Kotaku.com].

~ AVARiCE Read more on "[You] Oops: IGN Watermark on Okami's Cover"...

[You] Comedy: George Bush is Still Funny

Nothing special, just a compilation of George Bush's comic moments. Idiot or not, he's a funny guy. How many other people can boast having websites dedicated to their mistakes - or 'Bushisms' - as they are called.



First seen on the Holy Taco blog, [here].

~ AVARiCE Read more on "[You] Comedy: George Bush is Still Funny"...

[You] Comedy: This Must Be the Best Video. Ever.

It starts off candid video, then this guy just walks in. I was actually in hysterics. What could possibly be worse than your parents knowing you met someone from MySpace? The entire world knowing it. What's worse than being told off by your parents in front of your brother? Being told off in front of the entire world. What's worse than being raped? Being raped in the butt.



IN THE BUTT.

Seriously though, this has got to be the best video ever. In the butt. This guy is an absolute comic legend, where can we find him? In the butt.

~ AVARiCE Read more on "[You] Comedy: This Must Be the Best Video. Ever."...

[You] Football Funnies: Fabregas to Get Own Show

Cesc Fabregas is getting his own TV show. Here's the trailer.



As much as I'd love to pick apart those God-given 55 seconds, I don't have enough time. The acting is poor, his English is poor and he looks everything but hard when he only catches three items to push off the table. To summarise, the whole idea makes me [cry].

Do I smell a small-time club trying to make a marketing tool of Ronaldo's stature? I'll let Ronaldo sign off then.



~ AVARiCE Read more on "[You] Football Funnies: Fabregas to Get Own Show"...

[You] Faceplant Friday: Come Get It Boys

It's that time of the week again people! This week; why black cats are evil, why Parkour must be French for Pain and why Ice Skating with your face will never become an Olympic sport.



We'll kick off with the Ice Skater. As per usual this face plant raises a few questions in my mind. At 19 seconds, is that a pool of blood? Is the cameraman a primate of some sort?

Good idea, but you're never going to get an Olympic sport off the ground by going to ground. Especially when you go down face first.



Parkour must be French for pain. Must be. I love how this kids face somehow manages to bounce off a molehill, I would've thought it would've absorbed the impact. Either way you can't beat a parkour face plant can you?



Finally, the cat face plant. Black cats are evil, this one sits on the edge of the bath tub and quite blatantly dares the other cat to attack it. Can you ever have enough replays? Can you ever have enough slow motion replays? Satisfying 'thud' as well.

~ AVARiCE Read more on "[You] Faceplant Friday: Come Get It Boys"...

[You] Anonymous Browsing: Firefox + Tor Network Have Baby. Is Good.

I've only just seen this. A new Firefox extension called [FoxTor]. Basically, it allows you to turn Tor browsing on and off through Firefox.

For those of you who don't know what Tor is, it's an anonymous browsing network. Think of it as the world's most secure proxy, but you don't need to hit a proxy website, simply turn it on and you're surfing securely. There's a more detailed explanation on Tor's [Wikipedia] page.

As for the extension, it's not like most where you simply click the button and restart Firefox. You will also need to download Tor & Privoxy for it to work, you can grab them here. Also take note of the hints and tips on that download page.

Once you've downloaded and installed the above package, go to "Start -> All Programs -> Vidalia Bundle -> Vidalia", the control panel should open up. Start Tor. Now you need to run Privoxy which is just as simple, "Start -> All Programs -> Vidalia Bundle -> Tor -> Tor". A command line window should open up, wait for it to say this:

"Tor has successfully opened a circuit. Looks like client functionality is working".

You're ready and rearing to go! When you restart Firefox check the bottom left of your status-bar, you should be unmasked. Right-click the fox to put your mask on and right-click again to turn it off. Simple!

Inspired by [this] blog post on Shankri-la.

~ AVARiCE Read more on "[You] Anonymous Browsing: Firefox + Tor Network Have Baby. Is Good."...

[You] Software: Firefox Updates to 2.0.0.14

Today Firefox released version 2.0.0.14. If you are already a Firefox user it should prompt you to update; if it hasn't you can get the latest version here.

You can catch the release notes here, including the change log and other nerdy goodness. If you don't use Firefox you are somewhat of a muppet, you won't even know what this blog properly looks like. Download Firefox here.

~ AVARiCE Read more on "[You] Software: Firefox Updates to 2.0.0.14"...

[You] Football Manager: Miniscout 1.51 is Out

Just a week ago I blogged that Miniscout 1.5 was out. Seems there were some bugs which other people picked up on and Mx Amster was kind enough to fix them and send the new version out this quickly. Get it here.

Check out the checklist here.

~ AVARiCE Read more on "[You] Football Manager: Miniscout 1.51 is Out"...

[You] Faceplant Friday: A Double Helping II

This week's face plants if you take the previous three as a debt being written off. This week's includes our first ever animal faceplant. Check it.



Small space + Child + Stairs + Box. That's the stupidest equation since the one that involved Michael Jackson, small children and a Disney themed home. Is the mother filming this? Whoever it is, the hysteric laughter at the end will only add to the scarring, time will not heal this child. I would call social services but I can't wait for their next bonding session.



Another classic. The term "with friends like these, who needs enemies" comes to mind. Not much else to say, is there? Hope he's got a good dentist though. And some understanding parents.



Our first animal face plant. Everyone's seen this and no blog is complete without it. Once upon a time someone told me that cats are smarter than dogs. I can't actually remember my reaction through the tears of laughter, or maybe that's all I did - laugh so hard I cried. Whatever, cats are dumb. This one is the dumbest.

~ AVARiCE Read more on "[You] Faceplant Friday: A Double Helping II"...

[You] Faceplant Friday: A Double Helping I

Seeing as I didn't post last week I offer six videos of face planting glory today, as well as humble apologies.

Free Video Hosting

This one is short but hilariously sweet. Satisfying smack as his head loses a one on one battle with the wall. I bet he tried it again.



Another old man face plant. This one is better though. Not only does he show Michael Jackson up with his little moonwalk before the inevitable, but his face actually has a tiny explosion upon hitting the floor. Let this be a lesson, old an shoes do not have sufficient grip for polished floors. You already knew that? Oh.



Drunk face plants. They rock. Look at him run away holding his head at the end, you just can't buy those moments. The fact he did it in the middle of a road makes it twice as good.

The other three vids in the next post, hold on lads and ladettes.

~ AVARiCE Read more on "[You] Faceplant Friday: A Double Helping I"...

[You] Feature: Olympics Post of Hot Women

The Olympics are coming and it seems I need to remind a few of you why we watch the female events. We watch female events, but not the for competition, not for the one that always wins yet arguably looks like a man, we watch for the one who comes last but actually is a female. A spicy female.

Firstly, we have [Alessia Filippi]. She's a swimmer. A hot Italian swimmer.

This is her in action. This is her not in action and looking really hot. Really damn hot.

Next I offer you someone who I, quite frankly, don't even know will be making it to the olympics. But any excuse to post pics is hereby deemed worthy. [Allison Stokke] is a Pole Vaulter.

Here she is in action (she's still hot here), and here she is getting ready. This image is probably the most famous one of her.

Thirdly, and finally, I give you another American. [Jennie Finch] is a softball player. Is that even a sport? Why not just play rounders like civilised human beings? Softball. Damn. But it is an Olympic sport, making this completely valid under my rules.

Action shot here, looking hot here. Even when she tries she's not as hot as the other two. Brunettes are soooo much better.

Watch out for them in Beijing, you know you want to. Read more on "[You] Feature: Olympics Post of Hot Women"...

[You] Football Manager: MiniScout 1.5 is Out

Long time no post, here's some news for my fellow FM addicts. MiniScout - the tool which tells you how good players could become has recently been updated to version 1.5. You can grab it from Mx Amster's official site [here].

I've been using it since release on the 6th and it's working just fine for me.

~ AVARiCE Read more on "[You] Football Manager: MiniScout 1.5 is Out"...